Something I’ve been thinking about—and encouraging others to consider—is this: we must protect our differences while also seeking common ground.

Both matter. We should strive to find what unites us, but at the same time, we must respect and safeguard what makes each of us distinct.

Diversity is a strength. I truly believe that. It is part of what makes America strong. At the same time, we do share a common foundation.

Many of us are here because we believe in the fundamental ideals of this country—that all people are created equal and endowed with inalienable rights. We believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. So as we search for common ground, we should also respect—and even protect—one another’s differences. That balance is essential. Thank you.

I once helped a newer immigrant get her driver’s license. I sat in the car with her and translated during her lessons. The driving instructor shared something interesting with me. He said many immigrant couples come to take these classes. Often, the husband has been driving for some time.

When it’s the wife’s turn to learn, he tries to teach her. But it rarely works. The moment she becomes nervous—hesitates at a red light or struggles to change lanes—the husband starts shouting. And it’s not just “Be careful.” It quickly becomes personal: “You’re incompetent.

You’re clumsy.” Then old frustrations surface—who didn’t do what that morning, past arguments, unrelated issues. Suddenly, it’s no longer about driving. That story stayed with me.

When people carry a history of disagreement, even a simple situation can trigger something deeper. The real challenge is this: when emotions rise, how do we pause, calm down, and return to the actual issue?

How do we reset, go back to square one, and work through the problem instead of attacking the person?

After listening to all the speakers, I want to focus on one idea: repeat what has been said to ensure that you truly heard and properly decoded the message.

When we speak, we send a message. But that message is coded — and the coding depends on our culture, our accent, our experiences, and even how we are feeling at that moment.

The goal is to make sure the message is properly decoded. When you repeat what someone has said, you not only confirm your understanding of the intended message, but you also give the speaker a chance to clarify whether that is truly what they meant.

When people feel heard, it gives them a powerful feeling. It shows that others are interested in what they are saying. That increases engagement, connection, and trust.

Many conflicts happen because we do not properly listen, or we do not properly decode the message. That is why repeating and clarifying is such an important technique.

There is a quote often attributed to George Bernard Shaw: “The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” We often assume we understand each other — but in reality, we do not.

And that misunderstanding can lead to destructive conflict. Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. We must understand our audience. We must understand the people we are dealing with and their backgrounds.

This is where cultural intelligence becomes essential — learning about culture, understanding different perspectives, and recognizing lived experiences. In the context of America 250, we must remember that we are a nation shaped by immigrants.

If we say “We the People,” then we must find our place within this diverse tapestry of cultures, languages, and backgrounds. We begin by listening — truly listening to one another.

Through listening, we begin to relate to one another. This reminds me of the African philosophy of Ubuntu: “I am because we are.” Our humanity is tied to one another. America 250 is an opportunity to bring back that shared humanity — not only as Americans, but as citizens of the world.

Communication we’re talking about I my observation is this, you know, dialogue does not equal to communication. This is very important.

As I learned over the time, people can talk but not really communicate. The reason for that is the communication. If you read a little bit about communication theory, they’re really talking about when the two mind interact ideas that each side, the speaker side actually gave out information.

OK but the receiving side has to decode information based on their own framework of reference, their way of thinking and then accept that. So, so the effectiveness of communication really is not determined by the people who spoke, but by people person who actually receive.

So this is very important. Receiving side actually decide determines the quality of communication. That’s why it’s so important.

We have to listen 1st understand The other thing about listening is I do believe listening is the first quality of any good leadership.

You have to be able to listen. The reason is when you only when you listen, then when you share your idea, it is relevant to the receiver side.

So relevancy is very important.

Oftentimes for most people, when we’re talking about a concern, most good people, they don’t complain right away.

It’s something that festers for a while and they look for that opportunity to finally say something. And because we’re hearing it for the first time, sometimes we take it as a suggestion and we don’t realize that this person has been dealing with this for months, sometimes longer.

And for most people, the two most important things that they want from someone else is to be heard and to be understood.

You can hear someone but not understand them. So I have found that the best way, one of the best ways anyhow, to help a person feel heard is just to repeat whatever they say so they can hear you and you take your time and repeat it in a very careful way and they feel like this person heard me.

That’s really the main goal is to be heard, not always to be understood. Sometimes, you know, you can disagree with someone but still hear them. Us guys, we’re notorious for that.

We like to talk sports and we’ll talk about the game and we’ll completely disagree on my team is going to do this and your team is going to do that. And at the end of the day, when it’s time to go home, we shake hands and say, hey, I see you tomorrow. Good talking to you.

Even though it’s a disagreement, it’s a friendly disagreement. But you know, just helping a person to feel heard is one of the most important things that you can do for them is just to slow down, look them in the eye, block out all the distractions and just repeat back to them.

Sometimes when you do that, the person hears your complaint. Sometimes they realize that it’s really not a complaint and they’ll say never mind. Sometimes when they hear it from someone else, they realize it’s not really as bad as they thought.

From what you describe, it is very common — very common in many places. Not only between husband and wife, but within the dynamics of families and close friends, because you are too comfortable with the person. And it’s very hard for each person to separate.

For example, if the wife driving wasn’t sure how to turn, and the husband reacted like, “Whoa, you are incompetent,” that is according to your words — that’s the assumption that was there. So everyone needs to, in my opinion, slow down and take a deep breath.

Instead of shouting or using words unintentionally — maybe he didn’t mean to hurt her, but he was scared she would make the wrong turn or a mistake. So you need to step back, take a pause, and then answer. And on the receiving end, we usually react to how the person speaks.

So I think both people need to step back and take a moment to understand the intention. In your case, was the husband yelling because he wanted to yell at her, or was he yelling because he was afraid she would make a mistake?

I think we all need to be responsible for our actions — as husband and wife, as friends, whatever the relationship is. Our words are very important, especially to the people we love. Your husband, your wife, your kids — your words are very heavy.

Even if we think they’re not listening, they are. And when you say something hurtful, it can stay hurtful for a very long time. So especially with our loved ones, we need to step back before responding. And when we listen to the response, we also need to understand the intention behind what the person said.

That way, we react to the right thing. Because if she understood that he was reacting out of worry, she would not be as mad. But if she assumed he was yelling because he thought she was stupid, I would be angry too. So that’s my answer to you. That’s how I look at it.

Speaking about being ambassadors of our culture, I think a lot of times when people get together to discuss matters, do they think that the goal is agreement?

Agreement is good. Ultimately, you would like to have agreement. But before that, you have to have understanding.

And that’s why I feel as though we’re ambassadors of our culture—because if we don’t take the time to interpret things for people, of why we do things a certain way, they have no alternative but to assume. They’re going to come to the wrong conclusion.

I would rather tell someone why I feel a certain way. It doesn’t mean that they agree, but they may have a better understanding of that.

And over time, you know, it’s another perspective that they can add to their own thought process.

And that’s when you can find some common ground, and you can find ways to compromise and make it work so both parties—or all parties—feel heard and feel understood.

We come up with a solution that works for everyone, but the understanding has to come first.

Before you have agreement, you have to have understanding.

And that’s why we have to be the interpreters.

You know, when I have friends from many different cultures, and we get together, I’m always asking questions and they’re always asking questions—and nothing is off limits.

And we grow an understanding, and that provides a sense of safety, and it provides a sense of familiarity.

Just like the baby—the baby was uncomfortable because the baby did not have familiarity.

Later in life—two or three—the baby’s going to love peekaboo.

But at six months old, you’re just a scary-looking guy making faces at me.

So even with a smile—but over time, familiarity breeds comfort.

We learn things from each other.

Some of the things I learned from Celine is—why do you eat a big dinner?

She said, well, the Western world and the Eastern world are different.

In America, we have a big breakfast, a medium lunch, and a big, humongous dinner—and then we go to sleep.

And she told me this maybe ten years ago or more.

She said in the Eastern world, we have a big breakfast, a medium lunch, and a small dinner.

And she also said, in America, we like to have a cold beverage with our meal.

You ever cook something like beef and you put it in the fridge, and when it cools off, you see the fat sitting on top—it congeals.

And that’s what happens when you drink a cold beverage—you solidify the fat in the food.

So we have either a warm beverage or a room temperature beverage.

And the third thing—this is going back ten or fifteen years—she said:

A lot of people, when they’re cold during the winter, they want to have a hot beverage.

She said, we have a cold beverage, because then your external temperature makes you feel warmer.

And those are three things that I learned from her—I didn’t forget.